I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
...so i touched it.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
