no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
