guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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