the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
