Just fell off a train. Bad.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
