Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
