So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
