yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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