you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
