just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Randomize
