I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
