I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
