He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think a kid would responsible me up
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
