May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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