How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
