I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
