1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
