so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
