Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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