I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
