You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
