i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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