I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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