i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
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