dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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