they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
