I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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