The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
