If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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