yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
