His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
