Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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