she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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