Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
