i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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