it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She's the barista slut.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
