the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
