I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
