At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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