I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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