It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
