Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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