Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
