Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
