no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
