What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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