oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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