I think I died a long time ago.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
