Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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