im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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