So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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