I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
