just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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